Aug 31, 2012

I hate everyone, including myself.

Somehow, watching Honey Boo Boo Child on YouTube led to a video of a man who was deathly afraid of peaches, which led to a man who claimed he was a white man stuck in a black person's body which led to Tyra's 60 minute discussion about African American hair and the realization that society sucks.

We are so caught up on appearances and superficiality to the point where it's actually detrimental; life would be so much easier, not to mention nicer, if people were brought up to be accepting of others and most importantly themselves. How did beauty end up being so important in a person's life when clearly intelligence, skill and creativity are worth so much more. Why do I hate my short eyelashes and round nose because magazines and celebrities depict something else as beautiful? Why is a mother perming her three year old daughter's hair? Better yet, why did a bullied girl get plastic surgery to fix her "deformities" aka large ears. The fact that the plastic surgeon would call these deformities actually disgusts me because she, like myself and many others, is still at an awkward stage which she will outgrow. Plastic surgery is unnecessary and actually dumb. I still can't wrap my mind around the idiocy that is our nation.

I am actually the part of society that sucks. Although I have definitely improved since I was little, I am still quick to judge and stereotype. After some thought, I realize it's actually a ruthless cycle. Celebrities and models cake on the makeup and constantly watch their weight because society is quick to critique them if they don't. As a result, the people in society only see these picture perfect people which places even more emphasis on superficial beauty. Even worse, the people that do have the courage to go against this are vastly misunderstood. For example, Charlavail and Miley Cyrus both chopped off their hair only to get endless criticism and harsh words for going against the norm.

Why do I frequently visit and Perezhilton to stalk celebrities and their perfect lives. They are in fact, just people. Why do I care so much about these few select people. Why do I want to be a Jenner or a Kardashian when they have no talent or intelligence. Famous for being famous. What better people to be than John Green or J.K. Rowling - intellectuals as well as truly good people. With this in mind, since I am still young and impressionable, maybe I will learn to be more accepting both of others as well as myself.

Aug 30, 2012

So much ambition but no motivation.

  • where I could be.

  • where I should be.

  • where I am.

Aug 27, 2012

I am a walking cliche.

It sucks to suck.

Aug 25, 2012

Leave the weeping to the willow trees and throw tears into the sea.

Because I ruined my sleeping schedule yet again, I spent a majority of last night thinking mainly about imitation and originality. Somehow, I got so caught up in imitation that I lost all creativity in general. So in an effort to change this, I am now going to stick to what I like and what I create instead of being caught up in everything else. Lose the fear or else I'm never going to get anywhere.

Aug 24, 2012

Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.

I spend too much time online and not enough outside.
I spend too much time wishing and not enough doing.
I spend too much time imitating and not enough creating.

So basically, if I just got my act together, I could accomplish everything that I want to accomplish.  Instead, I waste countless hours of my life doing who knows what instead of actually working.

  • academics
  • college apps
  • jezie jewelry
  • a polished jezie
  • gym / health
  • lookbook
  • the derivative
  • screenprinting
  • art + photography
  • sewing, knitting and baking
  • diy projects
  • concerts
  • road trips / travel
  • 365daysofjezie

Aug 20, 2012

Hong Kong and these city lights.

Reasons why I am so in love with cities.

Young and stupid still.

This blog, in actuality, is a personal blog and to be honest it kind of makes me uncomfortable that other people read it.

Realizing that it's actually quite possible to achieve greatness once you disregard all the trivial matters that come with the teen years. Take, for example, the blog that Karen just showed me as well as the ultimate multitasker that is Olivia Lo.

1. Stop procrastinating. Laziness might be my ultimate vice in life. For some reason, it is basically impossible for me to freaking start my work on time and as a result I will die much earlier than my peers from lack of sleep. If I really did stop procrastinating, I could accomplish so much more.

2. Stop being so attached to the Internet and social media. The world right now revolves around communications through the computer screen. Pointless communications. Why are we so obsessed with Facebook and Twitter and Tumblr. It is taking over my life.

3. Avoid drama and petty worries. With the high school years comes infatuations, arguments and overthinking. Maybe it is best to just let go of the superficiality that is so prevalent in this town. Everyone has ulterior motives. Befriend sincere people.

4. Learn time management and focus more. If I would just fix my attention span, I could probably be way more productive and spend less time on things. But even as I'm writing this blog post I'm pointlessly checking my email, aka I suck.

5. Finish things that I start. It has become a habit of mine to quit things after I start them without ever finishing. If I would just stick to the things I do, I could maybe actually get somewhere in life.

6. Balance work with play. I think that sacrificing everything for grades or academics would be a big regret later on in life. After all, you're never going to be a teen again and you don't want to remember your teenage years as filled with suffering, allnighters and anguish. To be honest, in twenty years, I'm not sure where you went to college will even matter that much. In addition to academics, read books, watch tv shows and movies, work on Jezie Jewelry, take art, photography and pastry classes, become a licensed nail technician, learn how to skateboard, freaking figure out how to use photoshop, start a nail polish blog and lookbook, travel and hang out with friends.

Get focused.
Get independent.
Get original.

Aug 12, 2012

I only stare at stars and trip on sidewalks.

Yesterday consisted of fancy gym equipment resembling torture devices, oatmeal with granola and brown sugar, a mission to find fresh mozzarella, handmade sandwiches with handpicked tomatoes and attempts at the library to read classic American literature.

Aug 10, 2012

Across the globe to China.

The friendliest dog at the company I interned for.

Three day old twin baby goats at the organic farm owned by a family friend.

Wind and water.
Went back to the roots and met my grandmother's brother's family (and cat).
The view of Shanghai from the 101st floor.

Time does not exist, clocks do.

Time is a concept that we, as humans, have created. It escapes us as the days pass by and the past days turn into blurs in our memories.

Today consisted of grilled cheese and tomato sandwiches, two libraries - a children's science center and the tower room, mango lemonade, rainstorms, new discoveries of Princeton eateries concluded with an amazing book collection and breakfast for dinner.

Aug 9, 2012

Not me, I fear life.

" ‘I read this quote once when I was a kid, “We live alone, we die alone, everything else is just an illusion', it used to keep me up at night, we all die alone, so why am I supposed to spend my life working, sweating, struggling for an illusion? " - George Zinavoy
The Art of Getting By is one of my favorite movies. Truly and honestly, is there a purpose to the life we live? Being agnostic, I don't believe in Heaven or Hell or an afterlife in general. Animals don't have afterlives and humans aren't any different or more special. We tend to forget that we are not superior and we are not invincible. Instead, the human race in general creates its own destruction.

The purpose of life is not to be happy. We are not alive on this planet to be happy. If that was the case, people would not be killing each other because of differences in belief, people would not be starving to death from famines and there would be no war. The purpose to be happy is for the first world and for the privileged. Often, I've wondered why anything exists at all when life just results in death and everything that we have worked hard for during our lifetime will be lost. Going even broader, why does our solar system exist, our galaxy, our universe? Why is there existence at all.

Maybe the hardest thing to accept is that there really is no purpose at all.

Aug 6, 2012

Tell me your story and I'll give you a dollar.

To be honest, I could care less about cliche introductions.