Oct 19, 2012

We can’t define what it means to be human, but we know it when we feel it.

                   - Andre Halaw (Thanks Karen.)

Most of the time, I view emotions as a weakness.  Life would be easier without feelings and far less painful. I forget that this is what makes us humans.

It's the people who you don't expect and who don't expect it themselves. It is almost 1:00 am and I need to start my homework but I can't stop thinking about it all. No one understands anyone else completely and I'm sure I don't understand myself fully either. It was just one casual assignment so why did it affect me so much.

I'm not sure why I put up walls. I'm not sure if I even have walls. I don't know why I can't talk about my feelings or why the thought of hugging or holding hands with someone sometimes makes me uncomfortable as well. 

In the end, the college I go to won't matter. My high school grades really won't matter. As said by Karen, the past and future are just concepts and the only thing we know is the present. 

And I said, I'm lonely. And I don't like it. I don't like being alone. But we live alone, we die alone. Everything else is just an illusion.  

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